Parents can lessen the chance for sexual abuse to occur by setting limits for their children. You can also lessen your children’s chances of being sexually abused by someone you know by monitoring the adults who come into contact with your youngsters. Be wary of any adult who wants to spend time alone with a child for no appear ant reason or shows an unusual interest in one child above the other youngsters. When your child complains about an adult, listen carefully to the complaint.
Try to screen those people who care for or come in contact with your children in your absence, such as baby-sitters, day-care workers, coaches, etc. Check with people who have used a certain baby-sitter or child-care worker, and talk with mother whose children have been in contact with a coach. Ask your children how things went with a particular person, what they thought of him, and if they enjoyed being with him. Dropping in unexpectedly is also a good way to observe what’s going on. Parents sometimes have an intuitive feeling that something is not quite right. If you get a funny feeling about a person situation, listen to and respect those messages. If you didn’t completely trust the people with your child or feel uneasy about them, don’t leave your youngster in their care.
Although sexual offenders look just like everyday folks, unusually act normally, and may even be pillars of the community, most of them exhibit certain personality traits. Of course, many people with these same traits would never think of abusing a child, so you can’t take these traits as conclusive evidence; but it won’t hurt for you to be more cautious about your child’s contact with people who display these characteristics.
1. People who relate to a child are a sexual manner; for example, someone who tells a little girl that she’s a “sexpot” or a little boy that he’s a real “hunk.”
2. People who consistently entice children into their houses or into activities where parents are not present: for example, the track coach who wants to meet your child alone at the field or at his home for extra practice.
3. People who exhibit disrespect for a child by refusing to cease tickling, touching, kissing, or any other physical contact even after the child wants to stop.
4. People who you know were themselves abused as children.
5. People who are heavily involved in alcohol or drugs.
6. People who are from rigid, punitive background where sex was thought to be bad and dirty.
7. People who are loners.
8. People who relate more comfortably to children than to adults or their peers and who have no adult friends or confidants.
9. People who have been convicted of a previous sexual offense: Many psychologists believe sexual offenders cannot be completely cured.
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